Someone asked me once “What is my biggest regret?” this was part of a ‘game’ where we each asked questions of the rest of the group which might be deep or searching; or frivolous it didn’t really matter.
At the time I had been deep into soul searching of myself and of my life; there was, on the surface, plenty of potential for regret – they were dark times for me.
Yet my answer was “I have no regrets” because (in my mind) to regret something is to regret anything that followed as a consequence. I am very lucky; I have a beautiful daughter who is almost grown up, I have a steady job that pays me (and which I generally enjoy) and I am reasonably healthy. The things that I could think of as being candidates for regret would mean my situation at the time was something I would be wishing away.
Everything in my life that had happened to me had led up to that moment (and this moment) and so if I wished to change any small aspect of it I was risking the good things in it; in particular my wonderful daughter who I love and am very proud of. Every bad thing that has happened and every good thing has made me who I am and given me what I have and I can only be thankful of that.
There may be times in the future when I am feeling low that I will have to remember that getting through the lows leads to the highs and then the lows just become part of the journey that are there to give me clarity and context.
I know it is easier to stand at the top of the hill looking down into the valleys to see where I have been and understand it’s significance and that it is a very different view from the valley looking up where one is wanting to be. Struggling to push yourself and climb up to somewhere up above which seems so difficult to get to. But even the valley has a slope as it falls towards the sea and wherever you are in the valley, on the hillside or sitting at the top there is always a view to where you have come from and how much you have achieved. Even when you are on the top of the hill, there is often a bigger hill behind it, where one can be in an even happier place.